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everyone has a story to tell
The books we link to on this site are books you can buy at Amazon.com. We've reviewed each and strongly recommend them. Also, when you buy one of these books by using our links, Amazon.com returns some of their profit to us, to help us sustain this site.
We've organized them into several different kinds of books, each of which will help you as you write your memoir:
Rosie's Daughters: The "First Woman To" Generation Tells Its Story by Matilda Butler and Kendra Bonnett is a collective memoir of the generation of women born during World War II. In the interests of transparency, Kendra and I (Matilda Butler) are two of the three women involved in creating this website. Therefore, we'll rely on the words of reviewers to tell you about the book. Geneva Overholser is the Curtis B. Hurley Chair in Public Affairs Reporting at the University of Missouri. Previously, she was Editor of the Des Moines Register, leaving as a protest to management's "bottom line" emphasis. Overholser wrote: Rosie's Daughters is a unique combination of personal stories, research, history, art and the author's own reflections, engagingly written and beautifully presented. This is social history without the turgid prose, a compilation of interviews without the annoying interruption of flow -- even a motivational book without the saccharine -- in the appealing voice of perceptive authors." As you work on your memoir, Kendra and I recommend this book to you for three reasons: (1) Rosie's Daughters is an example of the collective memoir genre with many inspirational stories. (2) Rosie's Daughters shows how photographs, quotes, and historical information can be incorporated into a memoir. (3) Rosie's Daughters illustrates how multiple perspectives on an issue or topic can be both respected and integrated into a common narrative.
The following four books are written by speakers on the Memoir Panel at the East of Eden Writers Conference (September 8, 9, 10, Salinas, CA). Each has something to offer as you plan and write your memoir. The first two tell of traumatic childhood experiences, the third of the tragic death of two sons, and the fourth of the need to create a life after the death of a spouse. Your life may not sound like any of these, but in reading the books you'll gain insight into ways to better tell your story.
Don't Call Me Mother: Breaking the Chain of Mother-Daughter Abandonment by Linda Joy Myers is a compelling life story written as a series of vignettes that reveal a multi-generational pattern of abandonment and eventual healing. Myers, a marriage and family therapist, wrote in the voice of the first person speaking in the present tense. As you decide which voice and tense to use, consult this book to understand the dramatic impact on the reader of this combination. From the author's perspective, Myers says the choice "forced me to integrate the self that I was with the witness I have become." You'll also notice the importance of trains in her life, representing separations and reunions, new ventures and returning home. Is there some thread that has run through your life that could be woven into your memoir? Myers, also an artist, creates vitality and vividness in the people and places she shares with us through the use of color descriptors. What passions do you have -- gardening, sports, cooking, art, music -- that might enhance the telling of your story?
War Orphan in San Francisco by Phyllis Helene Mattson tells the engrossing story of a childhood spent initially with an aunt and then in foster homes and an orphanage in the US where Mattson's mother managed to send her in 1940, in the final window of opportunity for escaping the Nazi occupation of Vienna. Her mother, never able to secure the necessary papers that would allow her out of Austria, worked as forced labor and then was killed by the Germans. Mattson's father, having been throw out of Vienna in late 1939 by the Germans, spent the war in an Australian internment camp. Mattson became the primary link for the scattered family from the time she was ten until her father came to the US when she was seventeen. She used the treasure trove of family letters, long stored in a box in the garage, to help tell her story. Do you have documents or records that help shed light on your story? How might you use them? Mattson's choice of voice and tense is an interesting counterpoint to by that used Linda Joy Myers in her book. Mattson writes, "As I told my story, I told it as though it happened to another child, factually without emotion, a way to distance myself from the tragedy that I had experienced..." How close or how distant do you need to be from your story in order to tell it?
Higher than Eagles: The Tragedy and Triumph of an American Family by Maralys Wills and Chris Wills details not a trauma of her own childhood but the death of two sons to the sport and family business of hang gliding. While the authors of the two previous books primarily follow the timeline of their lives, Wills begins with the phone call telling her that her son has just died in a hang gliding accident. She vividly recounts her thoughts and emotions as she slowly accepts his death. In the following chapters, Wills tells the story of the family and how one son's interest in airplanes eventually led the family into a business of building and flying hang gliders. Her eldest son, Bobby, became one of the best pilots. Yet, he too was killed by the sport a few years after his younger brother. The story is told from two perspectives -- mother and brother. Together they build an emotional story that speaks to every mother. Most memoirists have sole authorship, but this telling by two offers an additional approach. Is there someone you want to write with? Would it enhance or distract from your story? Would it make the writing faster or slower? The story is yours to tell, but a second author is an interesting option. Wills, like the following author Auchard, seems driven to write as a way to cope with the situation. Can writing help you move forward in your life?
Dancing in My Nightgown: The Rhythms of Widowhood by Betty Auchard is a series of stories that follow her process of grieving after her husband's death and then emerging in an expanding world of people, places, and opportunities that she embraces. Her stories, organized into six sections beginning with his death (He's Gone) and ending with her re-emergence (Ready for Romance), illustrate how joy and laughter can be mixed with sorrow and sadness in stories. She has a balance and a pace that keeps the reader emotionally involved and yet never overwhelmed. What emotions belong in your story? How will you convey them? Examining this book may give you ideas about how to write of your own emotions. Auchard, like Wills, uses writing partly for healing, partly to make sense of events, and partly to affirm the importance of life experiences. What will writing your memoir mean to you?
Business as unusual: The triumph of Anita Roddick
I might rename this book, "Format as Unusual: Another Triumph of Anita Roddick." Looking at her format may help get your creative juices flowing. Reading her book will give you a new perspective on the influence this woman's values has had on business as agent of social good.
The creative habit: Learn it and use it for life, by Twyla Tharp
From the first page to the last, this book fuels you through its format and its content as Twyla Tharp shares how she (and you) can establish and maintain the habit of creativity.
Zero to fifty: A lifetime in the driver's seat, by Kate Lake
Kate Lake tells the stories of her life through the classic and near-classic cars that are intricately linked to her life. An artist, as well as a writer, Lake has drawn each of these cars, which become a vivid part of her narrative and our understanding of what they mean to her.
Aretha: From These Roots by Aretha Franklin
A public person is just that. It is difficult to know if we are getting the full story. Yet when we tell our own stories, we often put a bit of a public spin to them. This book tells a lot about "The Queen of Soul," the woman who brought us R–E–S–P–E–C–T — a song worth remembering while working on your memoir — and You Make Me Feel (Like a Natural Woman).
Goldie: A Lotus Grows in the Mud by Goldie Hawn
Goldie Hawn both reflects on her own life as well as frames questions about the lives and experiences of all women. As with many memoirs, you may find you learn about the author and have new insights about yourself.
What Falls Away: A Memoir by Mia Farrow
The circumstances of some lives unfortunately become too public. And so it is with Mia Farrow. Yet a memoir provides the opportunity to tell a broader story than the one covered by the media.
Saturday's Child: A Memoir by Robin Morgan
Morgan, one of the important and high acclaimed writers of the women's movement, provides us, in her memoir, with the back story of her childhood, her relationships, and her passions. Through her eyes, we see the interaction between the personal and the political.
Behind Every Choice Is a Story by Gloria Feldt
Some women's lives are thoroughly commingled with their philosophy, passion, and profession. Such is the life of Gloria Feldt, Executive Director of Planned Parenthood, told through her own stories as well as the stories of women who turn to Planned Parenthood.
With Liberty and Justice for All: A Life Spent Protecting the Right to Choose by Kate Michelman
No matter what you think about abortion, it is an issue about which you cannot be neutral. It affects you, your children, and women around the world. In this memoir, Kate Michelman describes her personal story and how it put her on the path to the presidency of NARAL.
Fierce Attachments: A Memoir by Vivian Gornick
Vivian Gornick's book is considered a classic, a story of a mother and a daughter, an honest effort to tell the emotional truth of the relationship.
Lifesaving: A Memoir by Judith Barrington
Focusing on the three years after her parents died as the result of a cruise ship fire, Judith Barrington gracefully blends storytelling with insights into her parents' lives, her relationship with them, and her 'coming of age' without parents.
A Good Fight by Sarah Brady
A single event may so mark a life that the memoir is conceived around it. Sarah Brady begins her memoir with her fight against lung cancer but a few paragraphs later moves on to a description of the seemingly mundane details of the morning of the day when her husband, Jim Brady, was shot while standing next to President Ronald Reagan. She details her personal struggles through the years as well as her public efforts to get the Brady Bill passed.
Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy
At the age of nine, Lucy Grealy is diagnosed with cancer of the jaw. The story of the surgical removal of a portion of her jaw bone and the many years of reconstructive surgery is told in this memoir within the context of her childhood, her family, and her rejection by many people because of her disfigurement.
A Match to the Heart: One Woman's Story of Being Struck by Lightning by Gretel Ehrlich
The outside event of being struck by lightning starts Gretel Ehrlich on a journey of reconnecting with the land, understanding the science of lightning and the effects on the human body when it strikes, and finally exploring her inner self.
The Birdhouse Chronicles: Surviving the Joys of Country Life by Cathleen Miller
Cathleen Miller and her husband leave their jobs in San Francisco so that she can attend graduate school in rural Pennsylvania. Her memoir of those three years is much more than the typical country memoir as she weaves in the stories of her childhood with her grandparents, the renovation of their aging home, and the descriptions of her Amish neighbors and their customs.
Daybreak: An Autobiography and then And a Voice to Sing With: A Memoir both by Joan Baez
Some women publish multiple memoirs. Daybreak was originally published in 1966. In it, Joan Baez chronicles her childhood and early involvement in the non-violence movement. Her second memoir And a Voice to Sing With was published in 1987. In it, she writes, "It has taken me two years to take these threads of my personal, political, spiritual, and musical lives - how they came together and how they fell apart, depending on the times and the circumstances." We write from the vantage point of where we are in our life journey. It is especially interesting when we have the opportunity to "check in" again on a woman.
Fear of Fifty and Seducing the Demon: Writing for My Life by Erica Jong
This pair of memoirs, published a dozen years apart, shows the author at two different points in her life that has quite different emphases.
Desert Flower by Waris Dirie and Cathleen Miller
Many celebrity memoirs are co-authored and may contain fluff or serious soul-searching. Yet the memoir of the Somalian supermodel Waris Dirie stands out as exceptional both in the writing and in the reason for the telling. Waris Dirie, having undergone Female Genital Mutilation at the age of five, tells her story through Cathleen Miller in order to actively campaign against this practice. Dirie is a UN Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation and the book is an international bestseller.
The Situation and the Story: The Art of Personal Narrative by Vivian Gornick
This is the resource for understanding the differences between a memoir's situation and its story. Vivian Gornick, a memoirist and non-fiction author, uses long excerpts from numerous memoirs that illustrate her points and show the relationship between memoir and personal narrative.
Writing the Memoir: From Truth to Art by Judith Barrington
Covering many aspects of memoirs from definition, audience, and form to truth, time sequencing, and feedback, Judith Barrington's book is a useful resource for the memoirist. She concludes each chapter with suggested writing exercises designed to get you started and keep you going and improving your work.
When Memory Speaks: Exploring the Art of Autobiography by Jill Ker Conway
Well-known for her first memoir The Road from Coorain that was later made into a movie, Jill Ker Conway has spent much of her career focused on women - not only in her writing but also as President of Smith College. In this book, she addresses many of the plots of memoirs - secular hero, romantic heroine, assertive women, grim tales, and others.
The Writer's Mentor: A Guide to Putting Passion on Paper by Cathleen Rountree
Author of the well-known "On Women Turning" books (On Women Turning 30, 40, 50, 60, 70), Cathleen Rountree puts light on the questions that haunt us as writers from understanding the creative muse within to making writing happen. Her advice on where to begin, what books belong on the desk, and how to create your personal writing space no matter where you live is just one small part of the valuable information in the book.
Writing Dialogue: How to Create Memorable Voices and Fictional Conversations that Crackle with Wit, Tension and Nuance by Tom Chiarella
Memoirists can use the tools of creative non-fiction to make the stories more vivid and interesting. Creative non-fiction, of course, uses the tools of fiction such as plot, dialogue, setting, and character. So while Tom Chiarella's book is intended for writers of fiction, his clear explanation of how to develop dialogue is appropriate for writers of memoirs.
Blockbuster Plots: Pure and Simple by Martha Alderson
A "good story" moves us through scenes that help the plot to build. Martha Alderson's book is a step-by-step guide to understanding these elements with her Scene Tracker and Plot Planner. Forget fiction. These are tools that will help you develop a strong and memorable memoir.